first of all, i know that should be a question mark and not a period on the title. i did it on purpose (grammar rebel, yea.)
secondly, i'm sick... at home... so i figured i should put my down time to good use and write a post.
no on to the 'good' stuff:
as i'm sure that you have noticed, i have had many revelations in the past 7 weeks about the character of God and his love for me as his child. i wish so much that i could put into words all the things that are bouncing around in my head just waiting to be processed, sorted through, and put into action. several hours a day, five days a week is quite a bit of information. i expected to go into a spiritual high when i came here, but thankfully that didn't happen. (i'm fairly sure that i'm immune to spiritual highs at this point in my life.) i have been changed in ways that i can never go back. there has been a shift in my heart that will never be shifted back. this is a new beginning for me.
me and two of my friends here have talked about what we're going to do after this DTS... i'm becoming daily more aware that it would be impossible to go back to my old life. i knew this would be a career move for me when i entered YWAM, i don't think that i realized what exactly that meant until recently. with the love of Christ come passion... how can you not be passionate about a God who loves as much as God does? passion on the other hand requires action.
Then Jesus came to them and said, "All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything i have commanded you. and surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age."
-- Matthew 28:18-20
he didn't say go when you have all the money you need. he didn't say go until you get married. he didn't say go when the time is 'right'. What does that even mean, anyway?! he just said go. he also didn't say it had to be halfway around the world, or across the country, or just to the needy countries. i happen to believe that God has a specific place in his ministry for every single person. whether it be the one to support people in the needy nations, or the one to work with the kids who live across the street from you, or the one who is going into a war torn country to show people the hope they can have in Jesus. there is a place for everyone and all that you a required to do is ask him where, listen to his answer, and obey. it's that simple.
if you truly believe that God loves you just as much as he does his one and only son, which he does - he loves you just as you are HIS son or HIS daughter, then how can you NOT share that with everyone you come in contact with.
a preach all this to say, that i definitely feel like my life is headed in the direction of missions. do i know exactly where? no. do i know exactly what my life will look like after dts? no. do i have a plan? no. the only thing i know is this: DTS is just the beginning.
stay tuned.
Tuesday, October 25, 2011
Thursday, October 20, 2011
short hair is so wonderful....
...until the day you start working on a mullet. the thought never crossed my mind that this is what would happen in the in-between stage of short and not short when you don't have a hairdresser available.
i believe that day was sometime in the last seven weeks.
please pray that God will make my hair grow fast. i have eight weeks of proof that he can do so much more than we can possibly imagine, so i have complete faith that if i pray about it, God will provide.
so pray pray pray my prayer warriors.
much thanks.
and good night.
i believe that day was sometime in the last seven weeks.
please pray that God will make my hair grow fast. i have eight weeks of proof that he can do so much more than we can possibly imagine, so i have complete faith that if i pray about it, God will provide.
so pray pray pray my prayer warriors.
much thanks.
and good night.
Go God.
god is good, yea?
he is. i just want to share a few things that God is teaching me currently. i really wish that i could write everyday about these things, but honestly i rarely have time. it’s frustrating because i barely have to process what i need to internally, much less record it all for others to read about.
1. the unconditional love of christ.
2. worship
3. passion
the unconditional love of christ, is just that, unconditional. i should already know this. theoretically, you should only have to hear this once. however, i’m human, so give me a break. it’s wonderful to know that no matter what we do, whether we disobey, ignore, or hear God wrong he always loves us. if we fall, we fall right back into his arms and his love. this is wonderful news. no matter what, God loves us and is constantly seeking a relationship with us. he is seeking us out. he is chasing after us. he is the ultimate pursuer. can i get a amen? he is interested in the same things i’m interested in -- just like wanting to play solitaire with be. he wants to be where i am, doing whatever i’m doing with me.
worship. what is it? what does it look like? how do we do it? we haven’t had a speaker talk about this, but for a solid week this topic came up everyday. here’s what i’ve been learning. worship can be something that we do all day everyday, but i think that it goes deeper than that. yes, we can be in a constant state of prayer and conversation with God throughout the day, but worship is different than that. worship is praising God with everything in us. so many songs that we sing talk about how we need God to give us something, but that’s not worship. it is being completely enthralled by his presence that you can do nothing else but tell him how wonderful he his. you can doing but soak up his presence without questions or conversation. God wants this with us, but how often do we put him on the back burner, or clog up the whole process with things we need, or want.
lastly, passion. passion for God, passion for art, and how those two things fit perfectly together. passion is so important in life. passion for God should just come from knowing how much he loves and cares about you. seriously, the love of God is such an intimate thing - he wants to spend time with you, listen to gripe and complain, and just hold you. it's like he's the ultimate mate. oh wait, HE IS! holy smokes, i just had a revelation. how can you NOT be passionate about someone like that. passion for art is something a little bit different. it takes work. and i little bit of suffering. it requires that you give something up, like time. you sacrifice other things so you have time for the dark room or to go out and shoot. through that process you learn to love it more than ever. you discover that you enjoy giving up things so you can increasingly get better at what you love. when you get that passion, that passion it shows. it shows in your actions towards others, your art, your overall demeanor. people notice it. what better way to tell people about Jesus than them asking you why you are so joyous.
and this is just the tip of the iceberg.
stay tuned.
he is. i just want to share a few things that God is teaching me currently. i really wish that i could write everyday about these things, but honestly i rarely have time. it’s frustrating because i barely have to process what i need to internally, much less record it all for others to read about.
1. the unconditional love of christ.
2. worship
3. passion
the unconditional love of christ, is just that, unconditional. i should already know this. theoretically, you should only have to hear this once. however, i’m human, so give me a break. it’s wonderful to know that no matter what we do, whether we disobey, ignore, or hear God wrong he always loves us. if we fall, we fall right back into his arms and his love. this is wonderful news. no matter what, God loves us and is constantly seeking a relationship with us. he is seeking us out. he is chasing after us. he is the ultimate pursuer. can i get a amen? he is interested in the same things i’m interested in -- just like wanting to play solitaire with be. he wants to be where i am, doing whatever i’m doing with me.
worship. what is it? what does it look like? how do we do it? we haven’t had a speaker talk about this, but for a solid week this topic came up everyday. here’s what i’ve been learning. worship can be something that we do all day everyday, but i think that it goes deeper than that. yes, we can be in a constant state of prayer and conversation with God throughout the day, but worship is different than that. worship is praising God with everything in us. so many songs that we sing talk about how we need God to give us something, but that’s not worship. it is being completely enthralled by his presence that you can do nothing else but tell him how wonderful he his. you can doing but soak up his presence without questions or conversation. God wants this with us, but how often do we put him on the back burner, or clog up the whole process with things we need, or want.
lastly, passion. passion for God, passion for art, and how those two things fit perfectly together. passion is so important in life. passion for God should just come from knowing how much he loves and cares about you. seriously, the love of God is such an intimate thing - he wants to spend time with you, listen to gripe and complain, and just hold you. it's like he's the ultimate mate. oh wait, HE IS! holy smokes, i just had a revelation. how can you NOT be passionate about someone like that. passion for art is something a little bit different. it takes work. and i little bit of suffering. it requires that you give something up, like time. you sacrifice other things so you have time for the dark room or to go out and shoot. through that process you learn to love it more than ever. you discover that you enjoy giving up things so you can increasingly get better at what you love. when you get that passion, that passion it shows. it shows in your actions towards others, your art, your overall demeanor. people notice it. what better way to tell people about Jesus than them asking you why you are so joyous.
and this is just the tip of the iceberg.
stay tuned.
Wednesday, October 19, 2011
skyping.
i expected to skype with hillery, and i got michelle, emma, and kynlee. BONUS!!
loved getting to see these faces. it totally made my whole entire day!
Monday, October 17, 2011
home sick.
i've found myself missing family so much in the past week. i wish i could just snap and be home whenever i want.
i love them.
i love them.
Thursday, October 13, 2011
a collection of randomness....
me, jan, and julie in the lab:
meet mary, she's a mobile student i shot for my portrait project:
i bought a head lamp... never thought i'd see the day:
skyped with mrs. hillery stevens earlier. it totally made my entire day.
God is good.
skyped with mrs. hillery stevens earlier. it totally made my entire day.
God is good.
oh hey y'all, i'm alive.
hello everyone.
i apologize for being so distant as of late.
the past two weeks have been super hectic, so i have a lot to share with all of you.
first of all, i want everyone to know how much i miss you and how much i want to talk to everyone. with that being said, it is just not possible. i want to skype with so many of you, but i really just don’t have all that much time. i also don’t have internet where i live anymore, so that means i have to stay at the castle until late because i’m a full seven hours ahead of all of you lovely people. then that means i have to walk twenty minutes in the dark, through the forest. this just does not work for me on a daily basis. i also work in the darkroom in the evenings. to sum it up... i love you and would love to talk to you, but please please please do not be offended or feel like i’m shrugging you off if i don’t make time for you.
secondly, donna jordan. what about her, you ask? she is amazing. she taught week before last week on hearing the voice of God. if you’ve been reading my blog you are probably aware, this is totally new experience for me. she introduced us to different ways of hearing his voice and different things that keep us from fully discerning what he is saying. we did so many exercises on asking him random questions and seeing what he said to us. one time, she asked us to ask God what game he wanted to play with us and why. it seemed really random; however when i asked, i immediately got solitaire. i thought, really God? is that really you? he answered, yes. you play solitaire a lot and i would love to talk to you while you play. it’s also your favorite game and i want you to do what you like doing.
God is good, amen?
thirdly, last week. whew. what a week. we had a speaker that works in thailand. to be honest i was so overwhelmed by photo assignments and other things i really didn’t get anything out of the lecture. i was so stressed out. the enemy was attacking, not only me, but our room, and everyone else on base. i didn’t sleep well, and when i was asleep i had dreams - and not the good kind. i ended up talking to amy, the leader of the photojournalism track about things. she was the unfortunate one that asked me how things were going and i just spewed everything out onto her. she advised me that i should really talk to God about what he wants to teach me through my photography. so i talked to him during my work duty -- cutting vegetables in the kitchen. i asked him what he wanted to teach me and he answered this... you will never be productive and satisfied with your work if you don’t make time for me before.
what a revelation, right? i always knew this already but it’s so funny because that is exactly what i had been doing all week. so naturally, this is still what i’m working on. making time for him before i start my day.
lastly, in some of the same theme as aforementioned... i'm totally discovering a new way of doing my art. i came here with the expectation of learning more photography and not as much God. that has not been the case, at all. through my relationship with God, i create art. it's just another form of worship and putting God at the forefront of my life.
aaand there’s way more to say.
coming soon to a web page near you.
secondly, donna jordan. what about her, you ask? she is amazing. she taught week before last week on hearing the voice of God. if you’ve been reading my blog you are probably aware, this is totally new experience for me. she introduced us to different ways of hearing his voice and different things that keep us from fully discerning what he is saying. we did so many exercises on asking him random questions and seeing what he said to us. one time, she asked us to ask God what game he wanted to play with us and why. it seemed really random; however when i asked, i immediately got solitaire. i thought, really God? is that really you? he answered, yes. you play solitaire a lot and i would love to talk to you while you play. it’s also your favorite game and i want you to do what you like doing.
God is good, amen?
thirdly, last week. whew. what a week. we had a speaker that works in thailand. to be honest i was so overwhelmed by photo assignments and other things i really didn’t get anything out of the lecture. i was so stressed out. the enemy was attacking, not only me, but our room, and everyone else on base. i didn’t sleep well, and when i was asleep i had dreams - and not the good kind. i ended up talking to amy, the leader of the photojournalism track about things. she was the unfortunate one that asked me how things were going and i just spewed everything out onto her. she advised me that i should really talk to God about what he wants to teach me through my photography. so i talked to him during my work duty -- cutting vegetables in the kitchen. i asked him what he wanted to teach me and he answered this... you will never be productive and satisfied with your work if you don’t make time for me before.
what a revelation, right? i always knew this already but it’s so funny because that is exactly what i had been doing all week. so naturally, this is still what i’m working on. making time for him before i start my day.
lastly, in some of the same theme as aforementioned... i'm totally discovering a new way of doing my art. i came here with the expectation of learning more photography and not as much God. that has not been the case, at all. through my relationship with God, i create art. it's just another form of worship and putting God at the forefront of my life.
aaand there’s way more to say.
coming soon to a web page near you.
Friday, October 7, 2011
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
one voice.
hey everyone!
i have a request.
our speaker this week, Mr. Stephen Goode has shown us a website that he is involved in called One Voice.
it's a way for everyone from all the nations can pray together...
this is a wonderful resource!
please got to onevoice.tearfund.org and register* and pray.
DO IT NOW!
ok?
thanks.
i love you all so much!
*click register
enter you email and make a password.
click star praying.
then start praying.
Tuesday, October 4, 2011
i have an announcement.
after much deliberation, i decided to join to the photojournalism track.
this is something that has been on my mind since week one. i don’t really like writing, but i talked to the leader about it and she just really reassured me of several apprehensions that i had including:
she said that that wasn’t the goal at all. i would have freedom to write however i wanted, and she would be there to help write in a more readable way. that doesn’t, however, mean i would be forced to write just like her.
her response: i can’t use film for photojournalism right now because we haven’t learned how to scan our negatives yet. once we do, i will be able to use it again. i love film. it is so much fun to shoot and develop, but with only 3 enlargers and 12 people it gets really stressful. i don’t want to be worrying about a photo assignment and not getting as much out of lecture. i don’t want this to sound like a convenience thing because it’s not. my boundaries are still going to be pushed and i’m going to have to step out of my comfort zone for this track as well.
it is really encouraging to be around so many artists at one place. i joke about what kind of a group we must look like to our speakers. we have people sketching other people, doodlers, knitters... all doing what they love while listening to the speaker. stories of last week coming as soon as i get a minute to type them out.
(i should also point out, in light of the recent change to photojournalism, please don’t judge me by how i write on here. nothing... and i literally mean, NOTHING is proofread. i do not have the time for that.)
- writing. i write like i speak. which is typically grammatically incorrect. her response: that’s totally ok! i had mentioned being back in college again.
she said that that wasn’t the goal at all. i would have freedom to write however i wanted, and she would be there to help write in a more readable way. that doesn’t, however, mean i would be forced to write just like her.
- i bought a film camera specifically for this dts.
her response: i can’t use film for photojournalism right now because we haven’t learned how to scan our negatives yet. once we do, i will be able to use it again. i love film. it is so much fun to shoot and develop, but with only 3 enlargers and 12 people it gets really stressful. i don’t want to be worrying about a photo assignment and not getting as much out of lecture. i don’t want this to sound like a convenience thing because it’s not. my boundaries are still going to be pushed and i’m going to have to step out of my comfort zone for this track as well.
it is really encouraging to be around so many artists at one place. i joke about what kind of a group we must look like to our speakers. we have people sketching other people, doodlers, knitters... all doing what they love while listening to the speaker. stories of last week coming as soon as i get a minute to type them out.
(i should also point out, in light of the recent change to photojournalism, please don’t judge me by how i write on here. nothing... and i literally mean, NOTHING is proofread. i do not have the time for that.)
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