the deep breath before the storm.

wow. less than 48 hours and i will be on a plane to take me to the other side of the world.

ready or not.. here it comes.


here's what is on my mind:

• i have so much to do.
• what's more important: jeans, shoes, or coats. (i'm only semi-joking about this)
• i hate goodbyes.
• am i ready for this?
• i hate packing.
• is my camera bag/carry on too heavy?
• if so, it doesn't matter because i can't fit anymore in my suitcases.
• goodbyes are lame.
• skype is not like real life (read: i'm not ready to leave some people behind)
• maybe i should look into shipping everything over there. expensive much?
• i'm not a fan of goodbyes.

i might have left a few things out, but this sums up it.

i need prayer.

good night all. 

so many blessing.

last night this wonderful group of people took time out of their day to come and pray over me. i cannot express what a wonderful blessing it was, and how much it meant to me. this whole process has made me realize how many people i have in my life that care about me (and my parents) and pray for me on a daily basis. i have been so overwhelmed and over joyed by the response i've had in regards to my trip.

thank you all so much for your prayers, they are greatly appreciated. i love you all so much.

[clockwise from top-left: wayne, gary, janice, hoot, kathy, me, malinda, and lisa]

Praise God from whom all blessings flow...

My mom sings this song all the time. I'm not exaggerating, literally all the time.
I've grown up hearing it all my life, and today, I think I could sing it from the rooftops.

I came home from lunch and running errands with my mom, only to check the mail and find $1100.

Eleven. Hundred. Dollars.

I'm fully funded now. I've been given $5000 in all, from my church, friends, and family.


God is Great. God is Good.

Only 9 days until I begin this wonderful journey.

Is That Really You, God?

I'm currently reading this book, per YWAM requirements.

Wow, I'm only 40 pages in, and I absolutely love it.

If you'd like to know more about YWAM and how it got started it's the perfect book. It's actually a biography of the founder, Loren Cunningham. It is amazing to see the story unfold from a vision to reality.

Unless, the next 150 pages are nothing like the first 40, this book gets 5 stars. No doubt.

Current Total:

$1310.00

I'm currently in the process of writing Thank You notes to all of you who have so graciously donated money to me! (I apologize for taking so long to write them.) I obviously won't know exactly how much I will need for my outreach because of several reasons including: I don't know where I'm going yet, plane ticket prices, and the fluctuation of the Euro. They say that it could be anywhere from 2,000-3,000 Euro or $2,980-4255. So, I'm pretty much just shy of halfway.

Thanks to my wonderful church, I have money for my plane tickets to Germany and back, and probably a little more -- depending on prices.

Last but certainly not least, and possibly most importantly... a hugmongus thanks to my parents -- they agreed to pay for the lecture phase of the school, which is 1860 Euro. Seriously, this trip would not be possible without them supporting me 110% Not only have they paid for the lecture phase, thanks to them, I also have my backpack, new luggage, a six months supply of makeup, shampoo, conditioner, snow boots... me and mom have been buying things I need throughout the past few months so that I all wasn't crammed into one massive purchase.

I cannot express just how much I appreciate your prayers and financial support while I'm gone. I'm awed everyday by God's provision and blessing on this trip. I'm constantly reassured that this is where I belong.

[There was a time, not too long ago, when I thought I would never be able to say that. For almost the past year, I've felt as though I've been going through the motions, trying to feel something, feel alive, waiting for my life to start... not anymore! This is it!!]

Happy Monday

Bought this book today...

I've always wanted to do this bible study, but never got a chance. So I'm just gonna read the book on my own... I'll let you know how it is.

I've been writing this post for days...

I once heard somebody say, "I'm killing myself with nostalgia"

That's what I'm doing.
And I haven't even left yet. In fact, I still have 4 weeks left, less than that actually.

I've been thinking about the past so much lately. About friends, college, summers... I have so many memories in this town. I have so much family here, so many ties. Recently, I've had many changes and there's only going to be more. I that God's timing had a hand in all of this, and I know that should make me feel better, which it does, but at the same time, it still hurts.
I'm going to miss my mom. A LOT.
Cliche much? Yes, but I don't care. We spend quite a bit of time together, especially since I don't have as many friends living here as I used to.
I'm having hard time wondering how I'm going to manage without my family.
I've been thinking about all the things I'm going to miss...

the little stuff, like hilarious things the girls say, Kynlee cooking me cupcakes, Emma giving me kisses, spontaneous shopping/movie dates with my mom, and swimming with my parents and listening to their ridiculous banter.

and the big stuff, like THREE new babies, Christmas, Thanksgiving, New Years, Taegans 4th Birthday, and Taeyle's 6th, and making candy with Michelle, Hillery, Deanna, and Charlotte at Granny's House.

It's really hard knowing that I won't be here for all of that, to experience it, to count presents under the tree, to take pictures of it.
It's just so bittersweet. I'm ready to do my thing, live my life, find my passion, do what I love... but that doesn't mean that there aren't things that I'm going to miss. I know I'll make new friends, have my own new family... but I like my old one. Can't everyone come with me? That would just be wonderful.

With that being said...
My skype name is christinaself1
I would love to hear from you, see your face, hear your voice... so add me if you have skype. We'll talk.
But e-mail me with your name so I know to accept you, if I don't know who it is I ignore the request.